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This is the last scene in a story that started on September 4, 2003, when a chance meeting with Martin Rinard started my journey to begin a Ph.D. It ends today, with my acceptance of one school’s offer of admission, and all the melodrama that I feel is appropriate for such an occasion. In a comment to that above entry, Sean prophetically noted that not all metastabilities have time to decide on their own; life, he said, is full of timeouts. Today is one of them.

My blog charted the course of this story. I mentioned my rushed application to and subsequent rejection from MIT’s PhD program, the next year’s round of applications, their responses, and, penultimately, the visit weekends. The decision process was, for me, tortuous. Patrick Winston noted that people, given two options, will generally take one of two approaches to making a selection: (1) initially see one as better, then rationalize why the other isn’t so bad, until they are equal again or (2) initially see one as better, and continue to reinforce that belief. I, he correctly observed, am a Type 1.

Thus, in addition to much soul-searching and introspection, I also talked with lots of people. I called professors at the schools. I met with professors at MIT who were alums of these schools. I talked with professors, some of whom didn’t even really know me, nor the schools. I took email polls. I solicited IMs. I chatted with friends, and with office mates. I browsed the websites of research groups. I skimmed their publications and recent Ph.D. dissertations. I talked with my family. I weighed pros and cons. I tried the different decisions on for size. I waffled. I paced. I even, God help me, flipped coins to see which side disappointed me less. It was one of the hardest choices I have ever had to make, which is strange because the worst case scenario was still really, really good. “The hardest decisions to make are often the ones that matter the least.” At the end of the day, I had to choose. It was time. And I knew.

This story ends and the next begins like this: on April 15, 2005, I accepted the offer of admission to the Computer Science Ph.D. program from Stanford University.

Thanks to everyone who helped me make my decision, no matter your input nor the form it took. For the record, advice included “X rules and Y drools,” a discussion of the early American settlers (and an obtuse reference to the Oregon Trail), a note on the poop-eating and face-licking habits of dogs, and, finally, “Kill yourself.” You all put in way more effort than I could ever have asked for, and I’m powerfully grateful. Thank you.

This entry was posted on Friday, April 15th, 2005 at 5:50 pm and is filed under School. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.