adam.oliner.net

I’ve been asked by a number of people whether I have ever considered running for political office. I usually laugh, and confess that I have thought about it. In the end, I would make an excellent politician but a terrible candidate. My convictions are strong and well-supported by facts, I am honest, and I am indelicate in my dealings with incompetence. All the things that would make me a strong leader would lead to my demise in the arena of public opinion.

I’m a competent debater, but would not have the patience for people like Alan Keyes, whose recent debate with Democratic rising star Barack Obama would have driven me to say things that would make Howard Stern blush. “I do not say that homosexual relations are an abomination, the Bible says so,” Keyes said. My response to such a declaration would have involved such contempt for Keyes, personally, and the religious right, generally, that I would likely alienate a significant portion of the population. As I have said before, the Bible is an allegorical work of fiction with some useful lessons. It teaches that the world was created 60,000 years ago, that the earth is the center of the universe, and that slavery is A-OK. For Keyes to pretend to wash his hands of his bigoted viewpoint by blaming it on a book, as though he is compelled to treat it as fact, demonstrates either a poor knowledge of the Bible or a weak sense of personal morality. Keyes stopped just short of repeating a Homer Simpson quote, in which Homer believes that he is bound by a fortune cookie to commit adultery:

Mindy: What’s wrong?
Homer: [crying] We’re going to have sex.
Mindy: Oh, well, we don’t have to.
Homer: Yes we do. The cookie told me so.
Mindy: Well, desserts aren’t always right.
Homer: But they’re so sweet.

If I was going to have any involvement in politics, it would need to be as removed from the campaigning process as possible. I find the mindless back-and-forth rhetoric physically painful to endure. I think holding political office would allow me to accomplish many important things, but I would not want to reach that office without being true to my beliefs. My dad warned me on several occasions to be mindful of what I post on my website, as it might close opportunities for me down the road. As I told him, I don’t want any part of something that requires me to hide or camouflage who I am.

He said that politics requires you to be either a crook or a megalomaniac. I’m no crook, I told him, but don’t count me out just yet.

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 24th, 2004 at 2:12 pm and is filed under Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.